Perhaps you can relate when I tell you that I have spent the majority of my life in some sort of existential crisis. I’ve asked some ‘questionnaire about me’ to my friend and I’ve received answers, then I spent some moments seeking to find anything that could give myself a much needed sense of general direction: maybe you hear a lot about purpose and perhaps you read a lot about meaning.
In recent years though, I’ve been entertaining the thought and living the philosophy that I need to stop looking. I just needed to stop. I ask that they’re too consider what I have learned and what is becoming increasingly clear to me. I’ve come to the belief that we are here and perhaps the word ‘Dharma’ has been so over spoken in your circles that it has lost it’s luster along with the words: path, journey, and presence. It doesn’t matter what you’ve done, it doesn’t matter the decisions that you’ve made. See yourself for the beautiful contribution that deep down you really are to this world and realize, truly realize, that that is who you are because that is what is true.
Choose to be strong enough to look at the lies that have perhaps been taught to you by all of those “teachers” who did not know any better, who likely did this unintentionally or as a result of their own fears or ignorance. We can look with grace at the lingering pain that we carry, perhaps as a result of treatment by our parents, our peers, our society and even ourselves, and choose to let it go and love what is true. It is through this love for ourselves that we can begin to see these parts of others, the parts of them underneath all of their layers of fear and everything else that has piled up, and together we remind each other of what is true when life becomes too difficult to remember on our own.
We can choose to love ourselves, we can choose to see others for who they really are and we can also choose to see the beauty in the world. We can choose to look up at the ever changing clouds in the sky, at the way that the water glistens from the sun, at the varying shades of green in our landscapes, at the mundane every day experiences for what they are, something that we get to experience. We get to experience it all and we can get in touch with that part of ourselves that realizes the brevity of this experience as if it is a message that has been bottled up and sent back across an ocean of time from our future dying selves. We do not have to keep searching for meaning, but rather realize that our meaning is our experience. Our meaning is how-we-live-in-every-moment. It is in how we choose our thoughts, words, and actions. This is all largely dependent on our mindset as well as our “world-view” and our “self-view”.
Sincerely and (hopefully) the loneliness it replaced,
Pamela Ingrida 🙂